Rite. Write. Right.

Dear friends…

The IIUM Theatre Club will be organizing a programme called Nusantara Theatrical Week ‘07 beginning from the 29th of January until the 1st of February 2007, live in the Main Auditorium of IIUM. We will be presenting two plays (1 in Malay and another in English) with the aim to introduce the culture and people of the region as depicted in theatrical performances. And of course, our bigger aim is to emphasize that Islam does not prohibit performing arts as long as it stays within the Islamic boundaries and rules. We are also pushing forward new talents in IIUM’s wonderful and colourful theatrical scene.

(Wah… macam menulis proposal pulak… haha!)

By the way, the schedule of the event is as follows:

Tikar Mengkuang Hamparan Bulu
29th and 31st January
8.30pm - 11.00 pm
Director: Siti Nurfatihah Othman (or more affectionately known as Atih)

El Cafetalero
30th January and 1st February
8.30 pm - 11.00 pm
Director: Adam Mansor

Tickets are sold at RM 2.00 ONLY! Very cheap one lah!

Do come and support us. Tickets will still be sold next week.

Okay? Huhu.

Oh yeah, if you wanna see me giving a speech, do come on the 1st of February yeah? Hahahahaha!

Too many times have I read a blog or a poem which laments on how unlucky the writer is. Too many times indeed.

I really do not understand why some people go to the length of questioning their existence on Earth and questioning what has happened to them. "Why am I here? What is my purpose? Why did this or that or nothing happened? Why why why why why…" Always the same questions.

The problem is, you do not take the time to look around and THINK.

You read those big, intellectual books yet some answers cannot be found on papers. It is inside us. It is around us. The knowledge of beyond everything.

You do not look around you: nature, the people, your vicinity, your society. These are real-life experiences, lessons of understanding.

You do not learn from things that happen to other people or even to yourself.

You only think about yourself. Always about "I, ME, SAYA, AKU".

If you think that your parents hate you, what about those kids who were beaten (some to death) by those who brought them to this world? If you think that you are so unlucky in love that each of your boyfriends or girlfriends have left you, what about those wives and husbands whose spouses left them after so many years of sharing everthing? If you think that you have so many things to do that you do not have any energy left, what about single mothers who juggle between two jobs and her kids just to ensure that each of them survive in this world? If you think that life is bad, think about those people in Iraq, Afghanistan, Sudan and those war-torn countries.

If you think the worst of yourself, you tend not to think about others.

And lastly, yet most importantly, you forget God. As a result, God chooses to ‘forget’ you. You do not seek Him and yet you question why such horrible things happen to you?

My niece asked me where she can find Allah. And my very wise mother helped out by answering: through solat and prayers. See? Even a three-year old knows that to find God, you have to seek for Him.

And yet, those of you, dah akil baligh pun susah sangat nak turn to Him. Solat lima waktu belum tentu cukup. Puasa hanya kerana nak berbuka dengan makanan sedap-sedap. Bila waktu Maghrib and terawih dah tiba, semua hilang. And yet you ask why He does not help you.

Nauzubillah hi min zalik. I wish not to be a part of these people and I pray for all my friends and family to be saved from such deeds or thoughts which will lead you astray.

Kenapa saya tidak menulis dalam Bahasa Melayu?

Dulu, ibu saya merupakan guru Bahasa Melayu. Di rumah juga di universiti, saya masih kerap bertutur di dalam Bahasa Melayu (mungkin dicampur dengan Bahasa Inggeris terutamanya apabila berbicara dengan Abang Min). Saya merupakan pembahas pasukan Bahasa Melayu di sekolah dulu di ketika pendebat-pendebat pasukan Bahasa Inggeris sekolah kami lebih digeruni. Namun, kami (saya bersama Puan Dewi, Cik Farihah dan Cik Maria) berjaya menaikkan nama sekolah kami sehingga ada guru-guru dari sekolah lain mengatakan bahawa kamilah pendebat-pendebat Bahasa Melayu terbaik yang pernah sekolah kami hasilkan.

Kini, saya hampir memegang ijazah sarjana muda di dalam Bahasa dan Kesusasteraan Inggeris. Saya merancang untuk meneruskan pengajian dalam bidang sastera Bahasa Inggeris untuk mengetahui lebih dalam mengenai Dryden, Chaucer, Shakespeare, Hardy, Thomas, Pope, Shelley, Keats, Byron, Wordsworth dan generasi-generasi penulis dan karya barat yang lain. Saya akui, sejak saya berumur 10 tahun lagi saya tidak membaca buku-buku Bahasa Melayu kecuali novel ‘Konserto Terakhir’ untuk SPM 2001. Malah, novel ‘Bukit Kepong’ untuk pelajaran Bahasa Melayu tingkatan 4 juga tidak pernah saya habiskan. Saya juga membaca surat khabar Bahasa Inggeris sahaja. ‘Berita Harian’ di rumah tidak pernah saya sentuh.

Adakah saya lupakan atau tidak pedulikan bahasa ibunda saya?

Ilmu yang Allah turunkan tidak terhad. Apa yang perlu ada cuma minat dan keinginan. Dan, keinginan dan minat saya adalah lebih kepada Bahasa Inggeris.

Maafkan saya kerana tidak mampu membaca karya A. Samad Said, Usman Awang, Faizal Tehrani dan rakan-rakan seperjuangan mereka. Maafkan saya kerana terkapai-kapai untuk memikirkan perkataan-perkataan yang sesuai untuk ditulis di sini. Maafkan saya kerana dapat memahami morfologi dan semantik Bahasa Inggeris tetapi tidak dapat memahami tatabahasa Bahasa Melayu. Maafkan saya kerana sewaktu SPM 2001, saya memperolehi 1A di dalam pelajaran Bahasa Inggeris, 1119 dan Literature in English namun hanya memperoleh 3B untuk Bahasa Melayu. Maafkan saya kerana lebih selesa untuk menulis dan menyuarakan pendapat dalam Bahasa Inggeris.

Apa yang terbaik boleh saya lakukan adalah untuk mencari cara untuk mendalami bahasa dan sastera Inggeris untuk membantu memartabatkan bahasa dan sastera Melayu. Menarik bukan? Namun, banyak yang perlu saya pelajari.

"And I do not look or feel stupid speaking in Malay!"

Hate is such a strong word kan?

But there are times when you just can’t avoid from hating someone, or something.

Especially impossibly irrational, immature, impossible people (I’m referring to one person right now). Macam budak kecik yet you have the guts to tell us that you are more experienced??

All respect I have for you is G.O.N.E. Vanished into thin air. Why should I respect you when you don’t even deserve it AT ALL!

All those things you said, it took every fibre of my being to control my anger. Lepas solat baru lega sikit marah. Tak sangka la someone yang kononnya very educated and enlightened and established could say what you said.

You never tried to understand. Instead you just blamed everyone except you.

SHAME ON YOU!

We are stronger than you can ever be. We may not have the power that you have yet you do not have the will that we have. And everything depends on willpower, my dearrrrr…

And so, good riddance to you and GO AWAY!

For me, folks, being in a university means that one should explore and learn from everything all around us. There are of course many means of exploration and my personal form of exploration is through the countless of events and programmes that I have joined since my matriculation days. Well actually, I kinda made a vow when I first joined the Matric Centre to stop getting too involved in co-curricular activities. Well, I never kept to that vow. And I also renewed my vow when I enrolled in the main campus. And again, I never stood by that vow.

Well I’m glad I didn’t. Those are stupid vows anyway… Haha.

If I didn’t get involve in the Seberang Perak project in 2003, I wouldn’t have had the experience of living in a FELDA and of course, the experience of teaching and befriending school kids. If I didn’t join ‘Two Plays and a Mime’, I wouldn’t have the  behind the scenes theatrical experience. I wouldn’t know about the concept of stage manager, props master, vocal training etc. If I didn’t join CONVEST 2005, I would  have never found out about computer designing jobs - not an easy task! And I wouldn’t have known how to deal with printing companies, what sort of paper that is best to be used on printed materials and the perfect size for banners. If I didn’t join Kenyalang Project ‘06, I wouldn’t have had the chance to go to Sarawak (twice!). If I didn’t help out LITE ‘07, I would never have known the truth about certain people that I used to respect before. And if I decided not to lead Nusantara, oh well… many things would definitely be missed.

But… the best thing of all, is of course the bond of friendships that have emerged from all these. I would never have known and met so many wonderful people. In fact, I think I would have just stuck to the BENL students only. Not to say that they’re not cool but one needs to broaden the horizon, yeah? And from these friendships, we learn to stand by one another during hard times, we learn to hold on, we learn to help each other in times of need. What more can you ask for in a friendship?

And to LITE ‘07 committee, every step you guys take, every drop of sweat and tears you shed, every second and every single cent you spent for LITE ‘07, I wish that Allah will repay them with pahala and barakah.

Especially to the mainboard, you guys have stood strong through the end and bravely faced every obstacle that never stopped coming until the very end.  Every decision and idea you poured in for LITE have proven that you guys have so much in yourselves: brain, guts, spirit and faith - the criteria of a great individual.

Whatever mistakes that I have made, whatever wrong that I have committed, please forgive me and avoid doing the same mistakes. Yet, whatever right decision and action I took, please go ahead and learn from them. Those are the only things that I can share and offer to you. I hope you learnt a thing or two from me (apart from the art of arguing - haha!).

I’m going to miss you guys! (Sedihnye nak grad dah!!)

And remember (to quote Shakirah):

"Menang bukan benar, kalah bukan salah"

There are two types of bad workers in the world:

a) the ignorant worker
b) the ‘I-live-for-glory’ worker

The Ignorant worker

This is the type of person who knows N-O-T-H-I-N-G yet pretends to know E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. He refuses to listen to advise by fellow colleagues and does everything his own way, without thinking of the consequences. Tak fikir panjang la kiranya. He brims with bright ideas, but he only wants to see the perfect end result without ever thinking or going through the details.

The worst case scenario would be if the ignorant type of worker is the boss or superior. Lagila dia tak nak dengar cakap orang. Yang bestnye, bukan dia yang arrange things so his subordinates would have to go through hell working for him because for him, impossible is nothing. Sometimes you need not fear to make a change. Well… whatever. Ever think that rules exist for a reason??

The ‘I-live-for-glory’ worker

This is a person who is pretentious especially in front of the bosses. This is to say, she agrees with everything the boss says in front of her yet bitches about him later. She lets others do her work, and all she does is enjoy the glory later even if she does nothing to contribute to the success. She would do anything for the boss. If the boss asks her to go jump down the bridge, she would, as long as she knows later, she would be recognized as a holy being, a martyr. If however, something goes wrong, she will be the first to hide and the first to blame other people. She would never admit her mistakes and let someone else pay for those mistakes. She gets away with her incompetencies everytime, that’s what I’m most irritated about. But God is always fair, kan? 

Conclusion

Working with both types of bad workers was, is and will always be a nightmare. I hate both types yet if I have to choose, I’d rather work with type A worker. No matter how intolerable he can be, I hate those who suck up more than anything. I’ve stood up against that type of people and frankly, I don’t care what they said or will say about me. For me, this type of people need not be entertained and tolerated. I believe, the truth will always prevail. Like I said to someone before, I believe in God. He will help those who are true. Even if not now, then maybe one day people would know. Even if not in the world, in the Hereafter, Allah will be just! One wise friend of mine said to me a long time ago when she told me that someone was bitching and spreading lies about me: "Kita kena sabar saja. Lama-lama, orang akan tahu siapa yang benar."

Can you sense my sarcasm in this entry?

I’ve been in IIUM for 4 years (??) and I’ve joined and helped organized a lot of student bodies, clubs, societies, activities and programmes. Therefore, I’ve met a lot of incompetent people. Yet, at the same time, I’ve met selfless, dedicated people, those I am proud to call my friends. Those involved in SRC Highlights (Abang Asib and Faheem namely), CONVEST 2005 (Naufal, Syiqin, Kak Nadia), Kenyalang Project ‘06 (Adiputra, Apai, Atih, Huda, Jub, Agil and the rest), the REBUTE team for ETW 2006 (led successfully by Atih), LITE 2007 (Amir, Hafeez, Ezrin, Umi, Tasha, Husna, Humaira, Syima and others, especially the juniors) and Nusantara ‘07 (Leman, Memen, Liyana, Fader, Kim, Akmal, Zul, Azua, Mar, Shasya and countless others) are among the great individuals that I have had the pleasure of working with. The bond of professionalism and later, friendships that we have managed to build among ourselves helped to heal the pain and wound of everything else.

Thank you guys! May Allah bless each and everyone of you!