Rite. Write. Right.

I have been reading about some big names in the Islamic history. Companions of the Prophet, Companions of the Companions, scholars, warriors, leaders and scientists who contributed a great deal to Islam in their lifetimes. They all had common, praiseworthy and admirable characteristics in their personalities: they feared Allah, they loved Islam and the Prophet beyond everything and anyone else, they shunned worldly matters like wealth and positions, they took their positions as leaders as responsibilities rather than previleges, they were courageous and all of them had unquenchable thirst for learning and knowledge. While each story is fascinating, I had a special interest for the stories of the scholars of Islam: Imam Abu-Hanifah, Imam Malik, Imam As-Shafi’i, Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal, to name a few.

What fascinates me the most about all of these big names in Islamic history apart from their unshakeable Iman and faith in Allah, particularly in their contributions to knowledge is their undying love for knowledge. A prominent Muslim scientist, Abu Raihan Muhammad Al-Bayruni, for example, on his deathbed, asked his friend, who came to visit him for the last time to explain a problem which they had discussed earlier but did not come to a conclusion. When his friend hesitated, Al-Bayruni said: “Tell me, is it not better that I leave the world with knowledge about this issue than dying while ignorant of it?”. Imam Ahmad bin Hanbal got married at the age of 40 because he feared that family responsibilities would deter him from seeking knowledge. Many of them travelled widely in search of knowledge. Bear in mind that those were not the times of aeroplanes and cars but rather of camels and horses but many of them were so poor that they chose to travel by foot. These scholars were not only knowledgeable in one particular area but in many other fields too. Jamaluddin Al-Afghani was well-versed in Persian, Arabic and French. He also studied Islamic philosophy and mathematics. Ar-Razi might have been an undisputable scholar in medicine but he was well-versed in alchemy, chemistry, mathematics and physics along with philosophy and logic. Ibn Khaldun founded the study of sociology, along with the studies of education and educational psychology and he was an authority in Arabic stylistics. And this is only to name a few of the Muslim scholars…

I fear that knowledge, in this modern world has been reduced to simply a piece of paper from a univesity acknowledging that we have been awarded this degree and that degree. Once our studies are done, we close our books, never to open them again throughout our lives. Honestly, how many of us still remember what we were taught back in school? How many of us can recall the lessons we were given in university? I admit, since I have been chosen to pursue literature, almost everything I know about linguistics have evaporated. Ask me about syntax, semantics, morphology, phonetics and the rest and I can bet you that I will not be able to answer any of your questions. Ask me about mathematics, accounts, economics, history and basic science and I am confident that I can’t answer your questions. Thus, it is proven that for many of us, knowledge has become a necessity only when we are faced with exams. Isn’t this sad? 

Knowledge in the name of Allah will be blessed and is useful no matter what the field is. Allah’s knowledge is vast. It is definitely not in our place to judge if this one piece of knowledge is valuable while another piece is deemed worthless. I have met a lot of people who ridicule other people’s fields of study simply because they are doing what these ignoramus claim as ‘easy’. Oh yes, as a student of English and Humanities, I have met countless individuals, especially sciences students (with due respect to them), who smirked when I mentioned my field of studies. I have met people who ignorantly thought that studying English means answering comprehensive questions and writing summaries and essays like we did in school. They think that by reading the many novels we all have to read, all we do later is write summaries on what the novels are all about. So my dears, is it in your place to judge something you have no basic idea about at all? Just because you deal with technology and chemicals and machines and numbers does not make you better than us who deal with humanity and society. The Qur’an does not limit the type of knowledge we need to seek except those that are against His Words and the Prophet’s teachings. You say that there is no point in studying the Western literature but did Allah not say that in all fields of knowledge, it is compulsory that at least one Muslim delve into that area?  

Reading the stories of the Muslim scholars made me realize that Allah has bestowed upon me a big chance to be among those who are knowledgeable. Allah has opened a big door for me to understand Islam better, to contribute to the Ummah, to be a leading scholar in my field of study and to simply gain knowledge. Allah has given me basic intelligence, fine education and upbringing and the love towards books to help me kick-start my quest for knowledge. I was born in a family of book lovers: my parents will complain if we spend too much money on accessories and technology but they never complain everytime we bring home books or everytime we ask them for money to buy books. Ever since we were young, we were constantly reminded that knowledge is important. But I have not been thankful for this. In fact, I have thrown myself into woes and worries, thinking and worrying too much about the future, which is, of course out of my control. I failed to see that many of my peers and friends would love to be given the same chance. I took this gift for granted and now I fear that Allah will take it away. Nauzubillah. I should aim to do my best in my studies and not think about worthless thoughts and ideas. I should stop thinking about things (and people) who are the cause of my distraction from obtaining knowledge. What is beyond my control should be left to Allah for Him to decide what is best for me. Only do’a and prayers can help soothe my fears about what is in front of me. 

Caliph Sulaiman ibn Malik (an Umayyad Caliph) told his sons: “My children, seek knowledge. For through knowledge and learning, the humble becomes great, the fool becomes wise and slaves become superior to kings.”

We should all remember that.

Can you tell them apart?

My younger brothers, Afif and Anas are twins. Many say that they are identical but being their sister, I can always tell them apart. They both are pretty close to me. When all of us were at home, we used to spend hours talking, playing games, watching tv, hanging out and well… arguing. Haha. But now, Anas is doing his medical degree in IIUM Kuantan Campus while Afif is a sophomore (poyo jek) at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, studying chemical engineering.

Being twins, they always have this sense of deja vu with each other. I guess, twins are like that. Somehow, they have this special bond that ties them together. Which I think is pretty cool… Take a look at these:

Situation One:

I was chatting with Afif yesterday morning and I asked him what he had for Iftar that day. He said he had Nasi Beriyani. Later in the evening, Mak told me that when she called Anas earlier, he said he also had Nasi Beriyani for Iftar! Hehe.

Situation Two:

I was chatting with Afif (again!) last week and I was telling him how empty the house is right now because many of our siblings are all over the world. Only my sister and I are left at home which used to be packed with people, day and night. Mak, who is used to cooking for more than five people has to train herself to cook for less now. But often, she would have no idea what to cook for Iftar. Usually, every Ramadhan, we would have a long list of food we want to eat for Iftar throughout Ramadhan posted on the fridge. But not this year. Afif was surprised to hear this but he said: “Jangan risau, Anas balik nanti confirm ada list tu!” And voila! Anas emailed me his list yesterday!  

These are some of the many examples of their twin thing. When they were younger, there were more of such incidents. If Anas got sick, Afif would soon follow after a week. When they were in primary school, they could not be put in different classes. Anas would get sick and could not pay attention in class. Finally, the teachers decided to put them in the same class. Then, miraculously, Anas got better. And they remained classmates until form 5. It was only when they entered university that they separated. And they used to wear the same clothes, the same shoes, the same everything! But of course now they have their own style… hehe.

I guess it must be cool to be twins! Hopefully, the twin genes are strong in me so that I can have twin daughters or sons one day eh? Hehe.

Yeay! I am one years old!

Today (22nd September 2008), is my niece’s Amni Nadira Amin’s first-ever birthday! Wow! All grown-up now, our ‘gawang’ baby! Too bad she’s not around to celebrate with us all. Hope that she and her Mama, Ayah and Kakak Maryam are settling down just fine in The Hague. But we all miss her a lot. Especially her Kakak Iman. *sob sob*

1. Rational 

It ain’t easy to be rational. For example, when I set my mind to something, it is often hard for me to change my mind on that matter no matter how many people beg, cry and even threaten me to rethink about things. I’m very stubborn, you know… It takes people as stubborn as I am to be able to knock some sense in me. Like Nana yesterday. Everything she said was nothing new to me. Heard them all before. But of course, I always have to win. But Nana managed to silent me yesterday. Terkedu, tak terkata because I know she’s right. And yes, all of them were right too… *sigh*

2. Family 

Abang Min and family are leaving for The Hague this Thursday. The next time I’m going to see baby Amni, she’s going to be as big as her Kakak Iman already. And I bet she would have no idea who we are. *sob sob*

3. Australia 

Where is the response from Monash University??? Am running late! I don’t excatly have all year… you see? *sigh again*

4. Love and marriage (ngehehehe)

I was thinking about the conversations I had during BTN a month ago with my new-found buddy, Ainna and all the kakaks in my LDK group. You see, we had three kakaks in our group who were like big sisters to us. Two of them (Kak Azra and Kak Lin) are married. Kak Azra has two kids while Kak Lin is expecting her first babies (twins! wee!) soon . By the way, she looked soooo cute pregnant, sangat comel! Hehe. Anyway, I remember this one particular conversation, I think it was after supper (or was it tea?) when suddenly Ainna asked some questions about marriage. Haha. Right after that, we, the adiks in the group (me, Ainna, Zuhaira and Munirah, if I remember correctly) were transfixed on our seats, listening to their advice on love and marriage. Haha. Gatal nak kawen nohhh… Ngeh ngeh. We talked for quite a long time but I think the best advice that they gave to us all was for my question: “Macam mana kita nak tau if lelaki tu is Mr. Right or not?”. Their answer: “Kita kan ada Tuhan, Dia yang tentukan. Apa yang kita boleh buat ialah do’a.” Hehe. Straight-forward answer but very meaningful. Terkedu kami-kami yang naive ini dibuatnye. Hehe.

5. 16th September 2008

Kelakar tengok ‘pemimpin-pemimpin’ kita kalut, gelabah and in denial about the possible transition of power. Siap lari ke Taiwan lagi tu. Zaid Ibrahim quitted as a Cabinet member, component parties complained and are divided on the use of ISA on several people (and ironically, used only on selected people, mind you) and all the racial sentiment that has become the government’s weapon since forever. Nak support sikit, takutkan rakyat pasal perkauman, 13th May 1969. Aiyaaa! Grow up la. We are all now educated! Dulu nak kelentong datuk nenek kami yang tak pergi sekolah takpe la… Now, we, the people are smarter than you. Ish ish.

6. Cravings

I am craving for Coke. Seriously. And Starbucks coffee (no thanks to Syima!). And the mushrooms at Tony Roma’s. Yummy. Tapi mahal… hehe. Okay Amrah, GET A GRIP! =p

7. Aidilfitri ‘08

I am not a big fan of Aidilfitri since we stopped going back to Kelantan years ago and since Kak Lin, Abang Min and Abang Lan left home for the UK years ago. Aidilfitri begins with Solat Aidilfitri and ends when the solat ends. The rest is just yearly routine. This year, with no Abang Min, Afif, Kak Mun and Amni around, it’s going to be more quiet. But I look forward to the one week break I applied for! Hahaha.

Okay… I am supposed to be marking my students’ assignments now rather than typing this. Loooong overdue. Uhuk uhuk.

I was in my alma mater today, settling some unsolved matters. As I was walking throught IIUM, I realized than soon, this campus will be of no relevance to me at all.

Soon after I graduated, whenever I came back to IIUM, I could just give some people (namely Atih and Tasya) a ring and voila! I could just crash in their rooms at any time of the day. I used to spend a lot of nights there. But now, these people have already graduated too. Now, whenever I go to IIUM, I have to rack my brain to think about the people who are still around. Yes, a lot of my friends are back, doing their graduate studies or teaching and many of my juniors who are quite close to me are still around. But things are just not the same. I was walking along the hallways of my kulliyyah (faculty), and I realized that I did not know any of the individuals whom I bumped into. I felt old. Haha.   

I guess what I’m trying to say is that my years in IIUM were fun not because of IIUM itself. If I were to come back (God forbid!), things would not be as lively as before. My days as a student there were wonderful simply because I had an amazing group of people to share them with. Now that they’re gone, IIUM has become just another institution.

I miss you guys… (you know who you are!)

Kepadamu Kekasih - M. Nasir

KepadaMu Kekasih
Aku berserah
Kerana ku tahu Kau lebih mengerti
Apa yang terlukis di cermin wajahku ini
Apa yang tersirat di hati
Bersama amali

KepadaMu Kekasih
Aku bertanya
Apakah Kau akan menerimaku kembali
Atau harus menghitung lagi
Segala jasa dan bakti
Atau harus mencampakku ke sisi
Tanpa harga diri

Hanya padaMu Kekasih
Aku tinggalkan
Jawapan yang belum ku temukan
Yang bakal aku nantikan
Bila malam menjemputku lena beradu

KepadaMu Kekasih
Aku serahkan
Jiwa dan raga
Jua segalanya
Apakah Kau akan menerima penyerahan ini
Apakah Kau akan menerimaku
Dalam keadaan begini

Ya Allah… hanya Engkau sahaja yang memahami… dan kepadaMu aku mengadu…

Adik,

Kenapa adik buat kakak marah? Kan dah susah sekarang ni. Dulu adik baik dengan kakak, tapi sekarang kakak tak berapa gemar nak dekat dengan adik lagi.

Dulu kakak suka lepak dengan adik. Bagi kakak, adik lebih matang dari rakan-rakan adik yang lain. Memang la adik manja, tapi kemanjaan adik tu boleh la kakak layan. Ada orang tak suka, tapi kakak tak kisah. Lagipun adik memang baik dengan kakak. Selalu tolong kakak. Jadi, ikhlas kakak hargai persahabatan adik dengan kakak. Tapi adik silap. Adik ambil mudah perasaan kakak. Mungkin adik sebenarnya tak kenal siapa kakak lagi rasanya…

Kakak dah cakap awal-awal lagi, amanah yang kakak bagi, adik kena hargai, kena jaga. Itu maknanya kakak percayakan adik, kakak hargai pendapat adik, kakak suka dengan sokongan adik. Tapi adik tak hormat kakak. Adik dengan selambanye, hilangkan kepercayaan kakak. Bila kakak cakap kakak tak suka adik buat macam tu, adik tak mintak maaf pun. Adik hanya cakap “Alamak…”. Sejak dari tu, barulah kakak perasan yang adik ni sebenarnya langsung tak matang. Semua yang adik tunjukkan kat kakak sepanjang kita kenal ni, semuanya macam topeng adik saje.

Kenapa adik nak gelabah? Kalau betul la kakak cakap macam tu, itu bukannya satu ugutan. Itu satu kenyataan. Itu satu cabaran untuk adik. Kakak tengok adik seronok dengan situasi sekarang tapi adik seolah-olah lupa akan masa depan yang menanti. Adik oh adik, perjalanan adik masih panjang lagi. Jangan seronok sangat. Don’t think about now, think about the future. Tapi mestilah adik takkan faham. Adik masih muda. Dunia kat luar tu adik tak jenguk pun lagi. Bila adik dah besar, barulah adik akan rasai apa yang kakak dan rakan-rakan sedang lalui sekarang.

Tapi kan adik, kakak tak pernah cakap apa yang adik nak itu bukan satu kemungkinan. Kakak tak pernah cakap benda tu takkan terjadi. Cuma apa yang kakak nasihatkan selama ni hanyalah supaya adik berfikir lebih panjang, pandang ke hadapan. Itu yang kakak maksudkan. Tapi adik selalu salah faham. Adik melatah. Dan sekarang adik seolah-olah nak tunjukkan kat kakak yang kakak salah dalam hal tu. Tapi kakak tak rasa kakak salah pun. Jadi rasanya, tak perlu la adik nak tunjuk-tunjukkan semua benda tu kat kakak. Dan tak perlula adik nak tunjuk-tunjukkan kat dunia jugak ye…

Memang la apa yang terjadi kat kakak sekarang “tak best”. Memang kakak nak lebih daripada tu. Memang la best kalau jadi macam adik. Sangat best. Tapi banyak lagi yang adik tak faham. Apa yang kakak nak tu, bukannya untuk sekarang tapi untuk masa depan kakak. Kakak risaukan masa depan kakak. Sekarang, kakak nak kejar cita-cita kakak dulu. Banyak lagi benda kakak nak buat. Jadi adik, itulah beza antara kakak dengan adik.

Lagipun kan adik, Allah yang tentukan segala-galanya. Allah tak nak bagi kat kakak, jadi apa hak kakak nak persoalkan apa yang Allah dah aturkan untuk kakak? Kakak dah usaha, dah buat segala-galanya. Jadi sekarang hanya tinggal doa saje la. Kakak yakin dengan kuasa Dia, adik. Segala-gala yang terjadi, ada hikmahnya. Itu pun adik kena ingat jugak. Macam kakak cakap tadi, adik kena ingat, perjalanan adik masih panjang.

Kakak tak perlukan sokongan adik dah. Lagipun kalau kakak cakap banyak-banyak nanti pun, adik bukannya faham. Lagi adik nak ejek-ejek kakak ada la. Jadi, baik kakak jangan cerita kat adik apa-apa dah. Baik kakak senyap saje. Susah nak cakap dengan orang yang tak memahami. Lagipun kakak ramai kawan-kawan lain yang boleh bagi pendapat dan sokongan kat kakak.

Jadi adik, maafkan kakak ye… terpaksa kakak buat begini. Lagi adik dekat dengan kakak, nanti lagi kakak kurang selesa, lagi kakak jadi sangat-sangat kritikal dengan setiap gerak-geri dan percakapan adik. Jadi baik kakak mudahkan hidup kakak dan kurangkan penyeksaan yang kakak boleh buat kat adik…

Yang benar,

KAKAK

My wise and clever friends said that if I think I have things bad, I should look at others’ who are in worse conditions than I am in. I should count my blessings and be thankful for everything that I have.

Astaghfirullah, betapa lemahnya iman dan kepercayaanku terhadap KuasaMu, Ya Allah…

Thank you, Mar and Syima!