Bangun pagi ni, tiba-tiba teringatkan mereka-mereka yang di hati.
My friends.
Rindu…
I have a lot of friends, Alhamdulillah but I notice I always hang out with the same group, the same people: Syima, Mar, Hanim and Atih. Adiputra yang ngok ngek tu pernah cakap: “You ni, takde kawan lain ye? Kawan-kawan you, ni jek ek?”. Memang la bengong. Dia tak perasan dia pun sama jek. Sedangkan keje satu building lagi tu dengan gang dia, lagi la tak berkembang. Haha. Anyhow, so today, now, early in the morning, I am missing my dearest, dearest friends.
Sebenarnya kami berlima ni, bolehla dikatakan satu geng tapi kami bukan macam belangkas yang tak boleh dipisahkan. In fact, we all have different lives and we are all very different from each other in terms of attitude, maturity and level of thinking. I am the serious one. Kadang-kadang dorang buat lawak-lawak yang boleh la dikatakan agak tah pape pun kalau saya takde mood nak gelak, saya buat tatau jek. Hee… Syima is the kalut one. Memang la kelakar tengok dia kalut in everything! Study, programmes, family, semuanya lah! Huhu. Atih is the buliable one. Hanim selalu mengaku kat dia yang Abang Imran dia tu kekasih gelap Hanim and I once told her that if I don’t get married by the time I’m 35, I want to be her madu. Haha. Punya lah marah Kak Tih kita ni walaupun dia tau we were joking. Hehe. Mar is the pretty but garang one. Percayalah, kalau Mar mengamuk, the Incredible Hulk pun akan kecut dengan dia. Don’t be fooled by her pretty looks, okay? Hehe. And Hanim is the funny and noisy one. Kalau dia bercakap, confirm tak boleh berhenti sampai menyebabkan bile naik kereta dengan dia, mesti kami sesat sebab kami tak boleh focus nak cari jalan. Haha. See? We are all very different. Kami ni jugak, kuat bergaduh dulu. Tapi yang pasti, in the end, pusing-pusing balik, mereka lah kawan. Bukan masa gembira sahaja. Masa sedih pun mereka lah yang menjadi tembok.
Mar is the oldest friend of mine in this little click we have. First met her in matric and we hit it off when we both became committee members for ILTRA, some sort of leadership programme. In fact, all her love stories, dari when I first met her until now, six years later, I know very well. Haha. And my dilemmas in everything from love to work to life to the future, semua dia tahu. My relationship with her is very complicated. I love her to death but honestly, there are times when I wish I could just spank her to put some sense into her. Haha. And I bet dia pun sama. Mesti rasa nak sepak jek kan time-time I berperangai pelik, kan Mar? Heee… I also admit I can be very critical of her. Sometimes, all the things dia buat pun I don’t agree. Semualah! And end up bergaduh. Nanti mula la tak bertegur sapa, dua-dua buat-buat tak kenal each other, tak nak jumpa each other. Give it two or three weeks then ada la sms-sms atau messages online saying: “Weh… I miss you!!! Rinduuuu!”. Hehe. That’s us.
Atih pulak, I met her in Matric jugak but became close to her only masa dah final year there. Atih ni, selalu jadi my partner dalam student actvities that I joined in IIUM. Setiap program yang saya masuk, usually nama Atih akan ada jugak dalam list of committee members. But our friendship goes beyond the professional level. We talk a lot. About a lot of things. In general, Atih and I jarang bergaduh like Mar and I. One of the reasons is that her way of thinking is very much similar to mine. Very selari. That’s why we worked well together too. I look at her as the source of wisdom and advice. How many times have I called her just to tell her about him and his perangai-perangai yang confusing itu. And she would always be the one supporting me, giving me advice and hope and reassuring me of good things to come. She was the first person I called too and in fact, I ended up crying over the phone when something happened between me and him. Tapi her advice doesn’t circle around him only. I tell her everything else too. Atih is one hell of a good listener. Masa kat UIA dulu, we always ate at least one meal together everyday. And honestly, when she began going steady with Imran, I felt I was losing her even though in truth, bukannya she ditched me pun. Nasib baik Imran tu is one of my friends jugak so boleh la masuk dengan dia.
Hanim ni… the outspoken and protective one. Anyone who crosses any of her friends, memang mencari pasal dengan dia jugak. And she can be very mulut laser. Kalau dia tak suke, dia sound jek directly. Anyone pun. Haha. When Syima told her about Germany (bukan nama sebenar… hehe) and the cowardly attitude he gave her a long time ago, Hanim was seething with anger at him. Hehe. And when I told her about him and all the mean things he does to me sometimes even though how very little and insignificant they seem to me, Hanim akan marah. Sangat. Hehe. ”Mana dia? I nak jumpa dia. Biar I sound sikit dia.” Takutttt… Hehe. I still remember, she was the one who told me point black that while she respects my intelligence and my maturity, one thing I am very bad at is at love and relationships. How annoyingly true. I had to grudgingly approve of that statement. Haha. That’s Hanim. Always having our backs protected from anyone and everyone.
Syima is the one I relate myself to mostly. Bukan in terms of life tapi in terms of feelings. That’s why there were feelings I only mentioned to her and not the rest because many times I felt she was the only one who could totally understand how I felt. Plus, Syima and I are the only ones in the click who has remained single since the first time we met when we were in the second semester of our first year until now. ’Always single and loving it’. Itulah motto kami. Haha. Up to a point that we both told each other that we both would get jealous of each other if one of us finds a life-partner or husband to-be first. Teruk kan? Haha. Tapi not that I would not be happy for her when the time comes for her. Of course I pray for the right man for her to come along. Syima and I meet up at least once a week. She works in UPM, I work in UKM and our meeting point is Alamanda Putrajaya. Sampai naik bosan lepak kat situ tapi pergi jugak sebab takde tempat lain. Haha. She lives in Bangi, I live in Kajang and we crash each other’s houses a lot. And we chat almost everyday on MSN or YM. If she is not in the office, bosannye takde orang nak melayan kebosanan duduk kat office. Hehe. One thing I like about her advice is that she remains open. She gives opinions on both sides of the story, remaining ‘atas pagar’, giving me the whole picture. And she is always the one positive when I am negative especially about my study chances and vice versa. Tapi she said my advice to her is always in garang and no-nonsense mode sampai dia tak berani nak mengadu her insecurities to me. Heee… sorry babe.
That’s all of us. I miss them all. We don’t hang out together anymore, just too busy with life. Hanim is in Sweden with her family and doing her MA. Mar is also doing her MA and getting engaged in December. Syima is planning to go to the States next year and she’s also caught up with family matters. Atih lives in Selayang and works in KL. And me… I am planning to go to Australia at the end of this year for my PhD, InsyaAllah. That means, all of us will soon be seperated geographically. The next time we will all gather again would be five to six years from now. Masa tu mesti lah dah ada partners masing-masing along with our junior selves, InsyaAllah. Haha. So no more mengarut seperti dulu… *sob sob*.
And dearest Syima… be strong. We are all here for you, no matter the time and the geography. We will always pray for your father. And we will always love you.
