I have some questions.
1. Which one do we follow? Our heads or our hearts? What if we really want to follow our hearts, but at the same time, our heads scream… “BE CAREFUL!”. Should we listen to the head and ignore the heart?
2. How far do we trust our instincts?
3. Do we avoid things we enjoy a lot but at the same time, worry that they might be hazardous to us later?
Anyone care to answer?
Last week was a black week for me and a lot of my friends. Allah decided to invite my friends’ parents back to Him. On Tuesday, Dewi sent me an message saying her father passed away. On Wednesday, Syima sent me a similar message. On Saturday, Nik sent me a message saying that Firah’s mother also passed away. Innalillahiwainnailahiroji’un.
These deaths made me think about the things that Allah wants me to realize, appreciate and be thankful for. First of all, I still have both my parents with me, both strong and healthy, Alhamdulillah. This morning as I was having breakfast with them, I thanked Allah profusely for giving me more time to be with them. I cannot even begin to imagine when I have to face life without them. I may argue and be annoyed with them, but I know, I am who I am today because of everything thay have taught me and because of every sacrifice they made for me and my siblings. They are not the best parents in the world, but they are the best for me, Kak Lin, Abang Min, Abang Lan, Afif and Anas. Alhamdulillah.
When we were on our way back home from Syima’s father’s funeral, Adiputra mentioned to me, Mar and Daus that one day, we are all going to face the kind of loss and sadness Syima is facing now. I cannot deny that but I pray and pray that the time will not be soon. And I pray and pray that Allah will give me the strength to accept and redha when I need it one day.
These deaths also taught me to be ashamed of myself. My friends are all going through painful periods in their lives. It makes me realize that all the worries I have in my life are all very trivial, almost insignificant. Yet sometimes I acted like there is no God to turn to when He is the only One who knows the answer to everything. All I need to do is pray and strive hard to be a better Muslimah. But sometimes I forget that. Many times I said I believe wholeheartedly in His Power but if I really do, then why must I worry or ponder and think too much about all the things he has pre-ordained for me? About my future, my studies, about that certain someone. Sometimes I drove myself crazy thinking about these ‘problems’ when all I should have done was PRAY and tawakkal. This alone simply shows how weak I am.
Allah could have taken my parents and my twin brothers away six years ago when they were involved in an accident in Mekah. He could have made me an orphan and short of two brothers that fateful day. But He gave me a chance. He gave us all a chance to be together. Now, Alhamdulillah, our family has expanded and He has given us more rezeki, supassing our needs. I cannot imagine what my life would have been if He really took them all that day. I know He knows I was not strong enough to face such trial from Him and I thank Him for that. Allah is the Kindest.
Dearest Syima, Firah and Dewi. I cannot even imagine how you feel right now but my heart and prayers go out to you and your family. Just keep in mind that Allah is Kind. He will never give obstacles far too great for His servants to go through. He will never push us to the limit. He will never be too far away from us all. So if ever you feel you need a shoulder to cry on, you miss your parents and the support you receive from family and friends are not enough, then turn to Him for He will always be there, listening to you. Banyakkan baca Qur’an, sedekahkan doa untuk mereka-mereka yang telah pergi. Only there you can find the perfect solace. But if any of you also need someone to turn to, then rest assure that I will do my best to be there for you, no matter the distance and the time. I pray that Allah will give you strength and I pray that Allah will put your parents among those He is pleased with. InsyaAllah, they will be in Jannah and so will you. Love you loads!
One of my best friends, Syima, faced the most difficult challenge of her life, having to watch her beloved father succumbed to illness. After a long illness, her father, Mohd. Amin bin Ramly passed away yesterday afternoon at around 12 in Hospital Serdang. May Allah forgive all his sins and accept all his ibadah. May Syima and her family remain strong through this ordeal.
Syima is a strong girl. When I visited the family yesterday, of course, I saw her crying. It’s only natural to cry and most especially so as she was quite close to her father. He raised his four children up single-handedly, without a wife by his side to assist him as Syima’s mother passed away when she was just a little girl. Yes, Syima has a stepmother but I think, if I remember correctly, they got married when she was already 18 or so. So her father played the role of both a mother and father successfully, something that many men would not have been able to pull off. He did well in raising all his children. Syima turned out great and her brothers are also amazing individuals. InsyaAllah, Allah will put him among the people in Jannah.
Struggles. We all have to go through some sort of ordeals in our lives. Each of us has a different story. That is what makes each life a Pulitzer Prize winning novel. But what is the most interesting about these ordeals is how we deal with the struggles. The strong ones, like Syima, take it calmly, composedly, with redha. The weaker ones, like me, cry, rave and rant before finally accepting that this is what Allah has put in store for us, the challenge that He wants us to go through. And there are the ones who blame Allah for everything, questioning His Love and Compassion, letting anger control themselves. I pray to never be among these people, Nauzubillah.
Bangun pagi ni, tiba-tiba teringatkan mereka-mereka yang di hati.
My friends.
Rindu…
I have a lot of friends, Alhamdulillah but I notice I always hang out with the same group, the same people: Syima, Mar, Hanim and Atih. Adiputra yang ngok ngek tu pernah cakap: “You ni, takde kawan lain ye? Kawan-kawan you, ni jek ek?”. Memang la bengong. Dia tak perasan dia pun sama jek. Sedangkan keje satu building lagi tu dengan gang dia, lagi la tak berkembang. Haha. Anyhow, so today, now, early in the morning, I am missing my dearest, dearest friends.
Sebenarnya kami berlima ni, bolehla dikatakan satu geng tapi kami bukan macam belangkas yang tak boleh dipisahkan. In fact, we all have different lives and we are all very different from each other in terms of attitude, maturity and level of thinking. I am the serious one. Kadang-kadang dorang buat lawak-lawak yang boleh la dikatakan agak tah pape pun kalau saya takde mood nak gelak, saya buat tatau jek. Hee… Syima is the kalut one. Memang la kelakar tengok dia kalut in everything! Study, programmes, family, semuanya lah! Huhu. Atih is the buliable one. Hanim selalu mengaku kat dia yang Abang Imran dia tu kekasih gelap Hanim and I once told her that if I don’t get married by the time I’m 35, I want to be her madu. Haha. Punya lah marah Kak Tih kita ni walaupun dia tau we were joking. Hehe. Mar is the pretty but garang one. Percayalah, kalau Mar mengamuk, the Incredible Hulk pun akan kecut dengan dia. Don’t be fooled by her pretty looks, okay? Hehe. And Hanim is the funny and noisy one. Kalau dia bercakap, confirm tak boleh berhenti sampai menyebabkan bile naik kereta dengan dia, mesti kami sesat sebab kami tak boleh focus nak cari jalan. Haha. See? We are all very different. Kami ni jugak, kuat bergaduh dulu. Tapi yang pasti, in the end, pusing-pusing balik, mereka lah kawan. Bukan masa gembira sahaja. Masa sedih pun mereka lah yang menjadi tembok.
Mar is the oldest friend of mine in this little click we have. First met her in matric and we hit it off when we both became committee members for ILTRA, some sort of leadership programme. In fact, all her love stories, dari when I first met her until now, six years later, I know very well. Haha. And my dilemmas in everything from love to work to life to the future, semua dia tahu. My relationship with her is very complicated. I love her to death but honestly, there are times when I wish I could just spank her to put some sense into her. Haha. And I bet dia pun sama. Mesti rasa nak sepak jek kan time-time I berperangai pelik, kan Mar? Heee… I also admit I can be very critical of her. Sometimes, all the things dia buat pun I don’t agree. Semualah! And end up bergaduh. Nanti mula la tak bertegur sapa, dua-dua buat-buat tak kenal each other, tak nak jumpa each other. Give it two or three weeks then ada la sms-sms atau messages online saying: “Weh… I miss you!!! Rinduuuu!”. Hehe. That’s us.
Atih pulak, I met her in Matric jugak but became close to her only masa dah final year there. Atih ni, selalu jadi my partner dalam student actvities that I joined in IIUM. Setiap program yang saya masuk, usually nama Atih akan ada jugak dalam list of committee members. But our friendship goes beyond the professional level. We talk a lot. About a lot of things. In general, Atih and I jarang bergaduh like Mar and I. One of the reasons is that her way of thinking is very much similar to mine. Very selari. That’s why we worked well together too. I look at her as the source of wisdom and advice. How many times have I called her just to tell her about him and his perangai-perangai yang confusing itu. And she would always be the one supporting me, giving me advice and hope and reassuring me of good things to come. She was the first person I called too and in fact, I ended up crying over the phone when something happened between me and him. Tapi her advice doesn’t circle around him only. I tell her everything else too. Atih is one hell of a good listener. Masa kat UIA dulu, we always ate at least one meal together everyday. And honestly, when she began going steady with Imran, I felt I was losing her even though in truth, bukannya she ditched me pun. Nasib baik Imran tu is one of my friends jugak so boleh la masuk dengan dia.
Hanim ni… the outspoken and protective one. Anyone who crosses any of her friends, memang mencari pasal dengan dia jugak. And she can be very mulut laser. Kalau dia tak suke, dia sound jek directly. Anyone pun. Haha. When Syima told her about Germany (bukan nama sebenar… hehe) and the cowardly attitude he gave her a long time ago, Hanim was seething with anger at him. Hehe. And when I told her about him and all the mean things he does to me sometimes even though how very little and insignificant they seem to me, Hanim akan marah. Sangat. Hehe. ”Mana dia? I nak jumpa dia. Biar I sound sikit dia.” Takutttt… Hehe. I still remember, she was the one who told me point black that while she respects my intelligence and my maturity, one thing I am very bad at is at love and relationships. How annoyingly true. I had to grudgingly approve of that statement. Haha. That’s Hanim. Always having our backs protected from anyone and everyone.
Syima is the one I relate myself to mostly. Bukan in terms of life tapi in terms of feelings. That’s why there were feelings I only mentioned to her and not the rest because many times I felt she was the only one who could totally understand how I felt. Plus, Syima and I are the only ones in the click who has remained single since the first time we met when we were in the second semester of our first year until now. ’Always single and loving it’. Itulah motto kami. Haha. Up to a point that we both told each other that we both would get jealous of each other if one of us finds a life-partner or husband to-be first. Teruk kan? Haha. Tapi not that I would not be happy for her when the time comes for her. Of course I pray for the right man for her to come along. Syima and I meet up at least once a week. She works in UPM, I work in UKM and our meeting point is Alamanda Putrajaya. Sampai naik bosan lepak kat situ tapi pergi jugak sebab takde tempat lain. Haha. She lives in Bangi, I live in Kajang and we crash each other’s houses a lot. And we chat almost everyday on MSN or YM. If she is not in the office, bosannye takde orang nak melayan kebosanan duduk kat office. Hehe. One thing I like about her advice is that she remains open. She gives opinions on both sides of the story, remaining ‘atas pagar’, giving me the whole picture. And she is always the one positive when I am negative especially about my study chances and vice versa. Tapi she said my advice to her is always in garang and no-nonsense mode sampai dia tak berani nak mengadu her insecurities to me. Heee… sorry babe.
That’s all of us. I miss them all. We don’t hang out together anymore, just too busy with life. Hanim is in Sweden with her family and doing her MA. Mar is also doing her MA and getting engaged in December. Syima is planning to go to the States next year and she’s also caught up with family matters. Atih lives in Selayang and works in KL. And me… I am planning to go to Australia at the end of this year for my PhD, InsyaAllah. That means, all of us will soon be seperated geographically. The next time we will all gather again would be five to six years from now. Masa tu mesti lah dah ada partners masing-masing along with our junior selves, InsyaAllah. Haha. So no more mengarut seperti dulu… *sob sob*.
And dearest Syima… be strong. We are all here for you, no matter the time and the geography. We will always pray for your father. And we will always love you.
I know I was in the wrong lane, I even admitted that. But what I cannot accept is the fact you, stupid woman, put the blame on me totally. You said I hit your car which was impossible. The fact that you overtook my car suddenly (even though like the police, who seemed to have your low level of thinking, said that you had the right to do so) was also stupid and so totally not using your common sense at all. Yes, I was in the wrong lane. But since you were not sure you could surpass my car, why did you overtake it? STUPID. BODOH. BANGANG. (Aku tak kira. Aku sangat marah sekarang.)
Fine… ko menang. Aku yang kena saman. Peduli apa aku nak bayar saman tu. Setakat berapa ratus jek. Boleh aku nak bayar. Tapi yang aku tak boleh dan tak akan boleh terima ialah ko langsung tak nak mengaku ko salah. Kalau ko tak salah, abes tu memula masa ko LANGGAR kete aku tu, pesal ko gelabah??? Pastu ada hati ko cakap kat polis yang aku yang langgar kete ko. Bodoh bodoh bodoh. Aku cukup jaga percakapan aku dengan engkau tadi sebab aku tahu ko bukan orang senang, tak nak susahkan ko. Aku tahu ko lagi tua, sebab tu aku hormat ko. Kalau aku tahu ko nak permainkan aku, dari awal lagi aku dah cari gaduh. Yelah, ko menang sekarang. Tapi aku tahu aku tak salah. Ko nak claim bape banyak daripada insurans kete tu pun aku tak kisah. Tapi aku jumpa la ko kat Padang Mahsyar nanti. Tuhan Maha Adil. Kita tengok lah nanti.
Wahai polis. Kalau buku peraturan tu kata: ‘Pemandu berhak melanggar kereta di depan mereka sekiranya kereta itu menghalang laluan jalan’, maka korang pun ikut jek la kan. Ikut saje sumenye. Langsung tak guna otak. Kalau susah sangat nak guna otak, at least guna common sense la. Itu pun tak boleh ke? Yelah, saya muda kat situ. Pemandu muda, peraturan jalan pun tak reti ye? Terima dengan hati terbuka? Maaf lah Tuan. Saya tak boleh dan tak akan terima sampai bila-bila. Yelah, saman tu saya bayar la esok. Tapi sampai mati pun saya takkan redha.
*Marah yang teramat sangat*
Siapa yang tak pernah dikecewakan, sila angkat tangan!
Saya pasti tiada siapa yang tak pernah dikecewakan. And I don’t mean in the matters of the heart only yeahhh… Life in general can be quite frustrating. Dealing with work, family, life and love (or in my case, the lack of it… hee…) is tiring. Makes you wanna grab a pillow and sleep the days and problems away. If only huh?
Semalam saya sangat happy. Tak tau kenapa sebenarnye but I was on air, almost flying. Nothing could bring me down yesterday. I was busy with work but my heart felt light, the world seemed kind and my problems seemed… well, kacang aje. I was in a very good mood. I felt if I had died yesterday, I would have died happily. Tapi, Alhamdulillah Allah panjangkan umur! Saya rasa paling senang nak kaitkan perasaan semalam dengan perasaan apabila bercinta and knowing that your heart’s desire loves you back. Ke? Hah. I wouldn’t exactly know anyway… Heee…
Tapi hari ini… hari ini diancam perasaan gelisah. Terima panggilan dari Dato’ pada jam 1.30 tengahari membuatkan saya terdiam mendengar berita yang beliau sampaikan. Tapi tiada masa nak meroyan waktu tu, sebab jam 2 ada taklimat program mentor-mentee untuk tenaga akademik program Pengajian Sastera dalam Bahasa Inggeris. Pelik juga kenapa mereka mahukan saya hadir sebab saya tidak terlibat dalam program itu. Rupa-rupanya, itu salah satu idea baru UKM untuk tingkatkan lagi taraf graduan-graduan kami maka program ini akan dilancarkan sepenuhnya nanti. Pendek kata, memang la saya tak boleh nak lari… Tak apelah… nasib baik Dr. Zalina sediakan biskut-biskut dan kek-kek Raya yang boleh dijamah semasa taklimat. Heee…
Kembali ke bilik… Syimalah menjadi mangsa pertama meroyan. Kesian Syima… selalu menjadi tempat luahan perasaan yang kadang-kadang tak berapa nak logik jugak sampai dia pun terdiam mendengar rintihan-rintihan saya. Agak-agak dia mesti dah bosan dengan kisah-kisah saya kan? Sorry, babe… but I honestly thank God that you are always around. Honest! Cuba hiburkan hati dengan cari distraction lain which is my dream camera - Sony Cybershot T-70. Waaahhh! Sungguh cantik, sungguh menarik, membuat hatiku tertarik! Heee…
Jam 5, bergegas ke tutorial. Rupa-rupanya, dari 24 pelajar dalam kelas itu, hanya 4 saje yang hadir. Menyirap darah. 2 minggu lepas, beria-ria minta tunda kelas ke hari ini kerana semua nak balik kampung untuk bercuti dan Hari Raya. Bile dah tunda, tak datang pulak! Siap la korang esok. Mentang-mentang saya tak pernah mengamuk dalam kelas. Akan saya balas dendam sewaktu saya menanda kerja kursus dan kertas jawapan akhir kamu semua nanti. Iye… bab-bab kehadiran, etika semua saya tak berapa kisah. Yelah, kata pelajar universiti. Dah dewasa. Pandailah nak fikir sendiri. Tapi jangan ingat sebab saya muda dan saya tidak suka marah kamu maka saya ni bodoh. Bila tiba masa untuk kamu semua dinilai, saya boleh menjadi sangat kritikal. Tapi takpe, saya akan dengar dulu alasan-alasan kamu esok. Nasib baik ada 4 orang pelajar tadi. Boleh jadi teman berbual selama 30 minit. Seronok jugak berbual dengan mereka. Macam-macam kisah. Kishore contohnya, beraya sakan mengalahkan saya sendiri walaupun dia bukannya beragama Islam. And they all told me that Jamal, one of their classmates worked as a teacher before. I nearly choked. Tak percaya! Jamal tu… takde gaya pendidik langsung. Mereka pun cakap pada mulanya mereka pun tak percaya. Heee…
Kembali ke bilik. Seseorang menegur di dalam MSN mengapa saya hendak hentakkan kepala ke dinding. Katanya, kepala saya bukan helmet, jangan jadi bodoh. Heee… Maka dialah orang kedua, mangsa saya meroyan. Tapi being him, bukannye dia simpati, ada la lagi dia kutuk. Saja jek nak cari gaduh. Mohon dia doakan saya, dia kata dia boleh doakan apa saja - mohon Allah tak makbulkan doa saya pun boleh juga. Sengal betul. But as always, made me laugh…
Itu kisah hari ini. Apa kaitannya dengan tajuk entry ini? Apa yang saya perhatikan, cinta dan perasaan, juga impian dan angan-angan - semuanya mudah rapuh, mudah hancur. Macam biskut-biskut raya kat rumah ni. Tahun 2008, the year I turned 24 has been especially difficult for me. Terlampau banyak perasaan berkecamuk di dalam hati, biasanya perasaan yang tidak mententeramkan jiwa langsung. Sahabat-sahabat dan buku-bukulah yang menjadi peneman hati, penawar jiwa. Iman Amani dan Amni Nadira lah yang menjadi pengibur hati. Percayalah, tahun ini semuanya sudah saya rancangkan untuk masa depan saya. Semua. Lengkap. Tapi Allah Maha Berkuasa. Dia mengubah setiap rancangan yang telah saya susunkan. Sekarang, bila ditanya tentang cita-cita, jawapan saya kini adalah: “Entah”. Ditanya tentang cinta dan si dia, juga: “Entah”.
Saya percaya Tuhan ada rancangan untuk saya. Yang terbaik. Tapi apa ye, wahai Tuhanku yang Maha Segala-galanya?
“Ya Allah, terlampau banyak permintaan hatiku ini… tapi yang pasti, yang sentiasa aku perlukan, adalah hidayah dan petunjuk dariMu, menghadapi esok dan hari-hari yang mendatang. Sentiasa. Janganlah Engkau hentikan AnugerahMu itu, ya Allah. Walaupun untuk sehari, walaupun untuk seketika.”
I have been reading about some big names in the Islamic history. Companions of the Prophet, Companions of the Companions, scholars, warriors, leaders and scientists who contributed a great deal to Islam in their lifetimes. They all had common, praiseworthy and admirable characteristics in their personalities: they feared Allah, they loved Islam and the Prophet beyond everything and anyone else, they shunned worldly matters like wealth and positions, they took their positions as leaders as responsibilities rather than previleges, they were courageous and all of them had unquenchable thirst for learning and knowledge. While each story is fascinating, I had a special interest for the stories of the scholars of Islam: Imam Abu-Hanifah, Imam Malik, Imam As-Shafi’i, Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal, to name a few.
What fascinates me the most about all of these big names in Islamic history apart from their unshakeable Iman and faith in Allah, particularly in their contributions to knowledge is their undying love for knowledge. A prominent Muslim scientist, Abu Raihan Muhammad Al-Bayruni, for example, on his deathbed, asked his friend, who came to visit him for the last time to explain a problem which they had discussed earlier but did not come to a conclusion. When his friend hesitated, Al-Bayruni said: “Tell me, is it not better that I leave the world with knowledge about this issue than dying while ignorant of it?”. Imam Ahmad bin Hanbal got married at the age of 40 because he feared that family responsibilities would deter him from seeking knowledge. Many of them travelled widely in search of knowledge. Bear in mind that those were not the times of aeroplanes and cars but rather of camels and horses but many of them were so poor that they chose to travel by foot. These scholars were not only knowledgeable in one particular area but in many other fields too. Jamaluddin Al-Afghani was well-versed in Persian, Arabic and French. He also studied Islamic philosophy and mathematics. Ar-Razi might have been an undisputable scholar in medicine but he was well-versed in alchemy, chemistry, mathematics and physics along with philosophy and logic. Ibn Khaldun founded the study of sociology, along with the studies of education and educational psychology and he was an authority in Arabic stylistics. And this is only to name a few of the Muslim scholars…
I fear that knowledge, in this modern world has been reduced to simply a piece of paper from a univesity acknowledging that we have been awarded this degree and that degree. Once our studies are done, we close our books, never to open them again throughout our lives. Honestly, how many of us still remember what we were taught back in school? How many of us can recall the lessons we were given in university? I admit, since I have been chosen to pursue literature, almost everything I know about linguistics have evaporated. Ask me about syntax, semantics, morphology, phonetics and the rest and I can bet you that I will not be able to answer any of your questions. Ask me about mathematics, accounts, economics, history and basic science and I am confident that I can’t answer your questions. Thus, it is proven that for many of us, knowledge has become a necessity only when we are faced with exams. Isn’t this sad?
Knowledge in the name of Allah will be blessed and is useful no matter what the field is. Allah’s knowledge is vast. It is definitely not in our place to judge if this one piece of knowledge is valuable while another piece is deemed worthless. I have met a lot of people who ridicule other people’s fields of study simply because they are doing what these ignoramus claim as ‘easy’. Oh yes, as a student of English and Humanities, I have met countless individuals, especially sciences students (with due respect to them), who smirked when I mentioned my field of studies. I have met people who ignorantly thought that studying English means answering comprehensive questions and writing summaries and essays like we did in school. They think that by reading the many novels we all have to read, all we do later is write summaries on what the novels are all about. So my dears, is it in your place to judge something you have no basic idea about at all? Just because you deal with technology and chemicals and machines and numbers does not make you better than us who deal with humanity and society. The Qur’an does not limit the type of knowledge we need to seek except those that are against His Words and the Prophet’s teachings. You say that there is no point in studying the Western literature but did Allah not say that in all fields of knowledge, it is compulsory that at least one Muslim delve into that area?
Reading the stories of the Muslim scholars made me realize that Allah has bestowed upon me a big chance to be among those who are knowledgeable. Allah has opened a big door for me to understand Islam better, to contribute to the Ummah, to be a leading scholar in my field of study and to simply gain knowledge. Allah has given me basic intelligence, fine education and upbringing and the love towards books to help me kick-start my quest for knowledge. I was born in a family of book lovers: my parents will complain if we spend too much money on accessories and technology but they never complain everytime we bring home books or everytime we ask them for money to buy books. Ever since we were young, we were constantly reminded that knowledge is important. But I have not been thankful for this. In fact, I have thrown myself into woes and worries, thinking and worrying too much about the future, which is, of course out of my control. I failed to see that many of my peers and friends would love to be given the same chance. I took this gift for granted and now I fear that Allah will take it away. Nauzubillah. I should aim to do my best in my studies and not think about worthless thoughts and ideas. I should stop thinking about things (and people) who are the cause of my distraction from obtaining knowledge. What is beyond my control should be left to Allah for Him to decide what is best for me. Only do’a and prayers can help soothe my fears about what is in front of me.
Caliph Sulaiman ibn Malik (an Umayyad Caliph) told his sons: “My children, seek knowledge. For through knowledge and learning, the humble becomes great, the fool becomes wise and slaves become superior to kings.”
We should all remember that.
Can you tell them apart?
My younger brothers, Afif and Anas are twins. Many say that they are identical but being their sister, I can always tell them apart. They both are pretty close to me. When all of us were at home, we used to spend hours talking, playing games, watching tv, hanging out and well… arguing. Haha. But now, Anas is doing his medical degree in IIUM Kuantan Campus while Afif is a sophomore (poyo jek) at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, studying chemical engineering.
Being twins, they always have this sense of deja vu with each other. I guess, twins are like that. Somehow, they have this special bond that ties them together. Which I think is pretty cool… Take a look at these:
Situation One:
I was chatting with Afif yesterday morning and I asked him what he had for Iftar that day. He said he had Nasi Beriyani. Later in the evening, Mak told me that when she called Anas earlier, he said he also had Nasi Beriyani for Iftar! Hehe.
Situation Two:
I was chatting with Afif (again!) last week and I was telling him how empty the house is right now because many of our siblings are all over the world. Only my sister and I are left at home which used to be packed with people, day and night. Mak, who is used to cooking for more than five people has to train herself to cook for less now. But often, she would have no idea what to cook for Iftar. Usually, every Ramadhan, we would have a long list of food we want to eat for Iftar throughout Ramadhan posted on the fridge. But not this year. Afif was surprised to hear this but he said: “Jangan risau, Anas balik nanti confirm ada list tu!” And voila! Anas emailed me his list yesterday!
These are some of the many examples of their twin thing. When they were younger, there were more of such incidents. If Anas got sick, Afif would soon follow after a week. When they were in primary school, they could not be put in different classes. Anas would get sick and could not pay attention in class. Finally, the teachers decided to put them in the same class. Then, miraculously, Anas got better. And they remained classmates until form 5. It was only when they entered university that they separated. And they used to wear the same clothes, the same shoes, the same everything! But of course now they have their own style… hehe.
I guess it must be cool to be twins! Hopefully, the twin genes are strong in me so that I can have twin daughters or sons one day eh? Hehe.
Yeay! I am one years old!
Today (22nd September 2008), is my niece’s Amni Nadira Amin’s first-ever birthday! Wow! All grown-up now, our ‘gawang’ baby! Too bad she’s not around to celebrate with us all. Hope that she and her Mama, Ayah and Kakak Maryam are settling down just fine in The Hague. But we all miss her a lot. Especially her Kakak Iman. *sob sob*
1. Rational
It ain’t easy to be rational. For example, when I set my mind to something, it is often hard for me to change my mind on that matter no matter how many people beg, cry and even threaten me to rethink about things. I’m very stubborn, you know… It takes people as stubborn as I am to be able to knock some sense in me. Like Nana yesterday. Everything she said was nothing new to me. Heard them all before. But of course, I always have to win. But Nana managed to silent me yesterday. Terkedu, tak terkata because I know she’s right. And yes, all of them were right too… *sigh*
2. Family
Abang Min and family are leaving for The Hague this Thursday. The next time I’m going to see baby Amni, she’s going to be as big as her Kakak Iman already. And I bet she would have no idea who we are. *sob sob*
3. Australia
Where is the response from Monash University??? Am running late! I don’t excatly have all year… you see? *sigh again*
4. Love and marriage (ngehehehe)
I was thinking about the conversations I had during BTN a month ago with my new-found buddy, Ainna and all the kakaks in my LDK group. You see, we had three kakaks in our group who were like big sisters to us. Two of them (Kak Azra and Kak Lin) are married. Kak Azra has two kids while Kak Lin is expecting her first babies (twins! wee!) soon . By the way, she looked soooo cute pregnant, sangat comel! Hehe. Anyway, I remember this one particular conversation, I think it was after supper (or was it tea?) when suddenly Ainna asked some questions about marriage. Haha. Right after that, we, the adiks in the group (me, Ainna, Zuhaira and Munirah, if I remember correctly) were transfixed on our seats, listening to their advice on love and marriage. Haha. Gatal nak kawen nohhh… Ngeh ngeh. We talked for quite a long time but I think the best advice that they gave to us all was for my question: “Macam mana kita nak tau if lelaki tu is Mr. Right or not?”. Their answer: “Kita kan ada Tuhan, Dia yang tentukan. Apa yang kita boleh buat ialah do’a.” Hehe. Straight-forward answer but very meaningful. Terkedu kami-kami yang naive ini dibuatnye. Hehe.
5. 16th September 2008
Kelakar tengok ‘pemimpin-pemimpin’ kita kalut, gelabah and in denial about the possible transition of power. Siap lari ke Taiwan lagi tu. Zaid Ibrahim quitted as a Cabinet member, component parties complained and are divided on the use of ISA on several people (and ironically, used only on selected people, mind you) and all the racial sentiment that has become the government’s weapon since forever. Nak support sikit, takutkan rakyat pasal perkauman, 13th May 1969. Aiyaaa! Grow up la. We are all now educated! Dulu nak kelentong datuk nenek kami yang tak pergi sekolah takpe la… Now, we, the people are smarter than you. Ish ish.
6. Cravings
I am craving for Coke. Seriously. And Starbucks coffee (no thanks to Syima!). And the mushrooms at Tony Roma’s. Yummy. Tapi mahal… hehe. Okay Amrah, GET A GRIP! =p
7. Aidilfitri ‘08
I am not a big fan of Aidilfitri since we stopped going back to Kelantan years ago and since Kak Lin, Abang Min and Abang Lan left home for the UK years ago. Aidilfitri begins with Solat Aidilfitri and ends when the solat ends. The rest is just yearly routine. This year, with no Abang Min, Afif, Kak Mun and Amni around, it’s going to be more quiet. But I look forward to the one week break I applied for! Hahaha.
Okay… I am supposed to be marking my students’ assignments now rather than typing this. Loooong overdue. Uhuk uhuk.
